Sometimes, I (Vincent) have spouses who are blindsided by affairs. Their comments are: “I didn’t see it coming. I have been breaking my neck over here trying to help us while he has been cheating. I have been working extra hours so that we can be more comfortable while...
Marriage
Marriage articles written by Vincent Ketchie.
Bombarded With Words?
Do you ever wake up and feel like you’re being bombarded with words? This happens to me quite frequently. I wake up, and my wife starts talking. I hear some of them, and some of them I don’t. It takes a while for me to...
So Your Spouse Is Having an Affair…A Practical Christian Guide
You are dumb-founded. You can’t believe this is happening to you. You are stunned. Horrified. Shocked. You ask yourself, “What have I done to deserve this?” You have been working hard, taking care of the kids, attending church, paying bills, etc. You have been responsible. You ask yourself, “How...
National Stress-Free Family Holidays Month: Lessons Learned From “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”
Clark W. Griswold “loses it” at the end of the movie, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Weeks of preparing for the perfect Christmas is foiled by a squirrel in the Christmas tree, difficult family members, and the expectation that he would receive a Christmas bonus that would pay...
The Most Misunderstood Couples Skill
It never fails. My couples come to my office. I (Vincent) talk about assertiveness. They attest that they understand what it is. They proclaim they exercise it in their relationship. But when we begin to process a conflict, their body betrays them. I had one...
5 Signs That Your Marriage Is In Trouble
1. Stonewalling – Your spouse shuts down. They ignore and avoid you. They do not talk about what is upsetting them. They act like everything is okay, but keep on doing things to annoy you. Here are some practical ways to get your husband to open up: “How To...
SLOW DOWN! Practical Ways To Handle Conflict
In my practice, I (Vincent) see couples. They are coming to me because they are having relationship problems. They are wound up and going way too fast – in their thinking, speaking, and doing. Many times, my first homework assignment to them is to “SLOW DOWN.” ...
Warning: Your Tank May Be Filled With Bad Fuel
In psychology, attachment theory teaches that early in a child’s life the parent co-regulates or fuels the child’s emotions. For example, there is a loud noise. The baby wakes up. The baby cries. The baby does not understand what its feeling. It only knows to...
When Couples Therapy Works!
Many people do not have faith in the results of couple’s therapy. They hear the stories of other couples. Couples who in a last ditch effort, see a therapist to salvage their marriage only to end up in divorce court. Oftentimes, couples therapy is a...
How To Get a Husband To Talk About His Feelings
Has your husband ever came home visibly upset? You ask him, “How was your day?” He responds, “I had a rough day at work, but I’m fine”? You ask him again and he says, “I’m okay.” You try again and he says, “It’s...
